Let's talk...
Several of you have asked about how the race in February went ... we'll just say "not good" for now. Allow me to explain in the words below.
You already know running is my thing, so I won't try to convince in that area.
However, I'd like to talk about the marathon and what happened from the discipline side of running. On the morning February 22 it had been 16 degrees in Kansas City as I headed to the airport. In Atlanta, the days leading up to the race had been cold and misty. Race day (February 26) it hit 70+ and was sunny. This made for a hot, humid day - especially the 2nd half of the race. I could say that my issues were the weather but that would be a lie.
My issues? Struggling to run and control my breath. I did have cramps in my calves and that was likely from the heat and humidity. But the others were all me.
In training, I had failed to remain disciplined in all areas of training. Not just this year but over the course of the last handful of years. I let what I wanted now interfere with what I wanted more. I let my grit get soft and found excuses. Too many times, I said "close enough" ... and I paid for it on race day.
At shy of the 20-mile mark I was forced to "cut the course" - I was going too slow. And I was too slow because... yep! I had not trained sufficiently. This was not due to my trainer's plans.. this was due to me. I DO believe I would have just made it but that wasn't the goal either. What happened though was that a race personnel had me (and I assume the 4 or 5 people behind me) escorted across the street to join the group heading towards Mile 23. I was escorted by one of the police officers who had been directing traffic to make sure I didn't try to go on. If you just did the math, that means my race was only 23 miles total - not 26.2 miles. And although I understand when many of you say, "but that's great!", "wow - 23 miles", etc. it wasn't the goal. The goal was a marathon. And I failed because I did NOT do what I needed to do.
The other aspect of that failure is weight. I have had many friends and colleagues say, "but you're healthy inside", "you can do things most people can't", etc. They are correct in those comments - I usually have very good blood work, a great resting heart rate and the like. However, I cannot do the things I want to do.
And THAT my friends is THE problem. I would not have been in that position at the Atlanta Marathon if I were in the physical condition I should be. It's not even about how I look (although that is a side benefit!) It IS about the goals I have. I cannot accomplish them if I stay the same. I could blame this issue on hormones and menopause but again, it is really my fault.
After coming to terms with all of this and swallowing a big o' bite of humble pie, I am committing to reawakening the discipline that took me to so many heights before (Tahoe Triple Marathon, Mount Hood PCT 50 miler, just running 20 miles every other weekend in less than 4 hours) and today is Day 1 of that journey. I am committing to 75 days.
I will update regularly on what I'm doing and how it's going. Much of this is more about the grit, aka mental toughness, that it takes to accomplish my goals.
Those goals include exceling in:
- Fitness and nutrition
- Finances
- Faith
Soooo, I am going to invite you on my runs, include you in my strength training and yoga sessions, and will even bring you into the kitchen with me. I will invite you into my times for personal growth and development as well by sharing what I am reading. All of this is to rebuild that discipline I once had by strengthening my mind and my body. I hope you will come along!
Believe,
Bobbi
